Wednesday, May 30, 2007 @ 6:30 PM

sweet sixteen.

i had school iin the morning from 8am till 2.30pm, and the only bad thing that happened was mdm shanti pissing me off ytd becos she dragged the lesson till an hr long. she made the whole class fumed in anger! but oh well..
after which, wanxing, rach, xinlin and i rushed to my hse after ss workshop and waited for me to change out of my uniform. whoots, i changed and dressed in 15 mins, including to take a shower. im super! hees. then we headed down to novena for BEN N JERRY! we wanted to had vermonster, but it was too overprice for 20 scoops of ice cream, so we settled down for merlionster?! yupp!! after which, we went toys "r" us and looked around. and it actually brought me back memories, but oh well. it wont matter anymore. wanxing was going crazy with the swords and we ended up being like 4, four year old toddlers! after that, we went velocity and sq 2! as we were resting at shilin mee sua that shop,
nicole called! "we are at bishan now!" and i rushed off and ran down the escalator lah! i can fly in my boots! YAY! thanks ah nicole!
and we reached vila`ge[is that how u spell it?] at 6pm! eh, the sec 4s are the lastest! and before i could say anything. MY DEAREST LAOGONG SCREAMED: Happy birthday CRYSTAL!. so everyone started wishing me and stuff like that and we went in and we makan, took lots and lots of photos, blahblahblah...and after dinner, we went off shopping! finally reached hm at 1045pm (mum was hurring me back home) after a long long day! and i celebrated with my family and blahblahblah!

thanks everyone for all the presents and birthday wishes!.


i want you to know that even though you still interfere in my life, but it dun hurt me anymore, i have grown stronger. and every hurt is a lesson learnt. i have put you aside and found out i have moved on. and i hope you do the same too. those prententious acts you show the world.is only going to be that temporart. and i want you to know, i don need you, cos i can still find happiness without you, go ahead and envy me. cos i don nid to pretend like you do. for all the hurts you have given me these while, GOD has turned all what that had seem devastating to me into life.

Sunday, May 27, 2007 @ 2:52 AM

i found this on the web and i thought i would like to share this with everybody out there.

Why is there evil and suffering in the world?

The curious as well as the critics of Christianity ask this question. If God is all-powerful and all loving, then why does He permit evil and suffering in the world?
Various answers have been given but permanently settling the issue is impossible because so many of our answers raise further questions. Nevertheless, our lack of ability to answer the question perfectly does not mean that we cannot offer solutions. Of course, I do not assume to be able to answer these questions definitively, but I can offer some solutions.

First of all, it is possible that God has reasons for allowing evil to exist that we simply cannot understand. In this the Christian can have confidence in God knowing that His ways are above our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). As the Bible says, the just shall live by faith (Hab. 2:4).

Second, God may be letting evil run its course in order to prove that evil is evil and that suffering, which is the unfortunate product of evil, is further proof that anything contrary to God’s will is bad, harmful, painful, and leads to death.

Sin is rebellion against God and His created order. But God has not left us alone in this fallen world. He continued to enter this world, pointing us to Himself, to truth, to morality, purity, and love. He used the evil of the world (liars, perjurers, the envious, etc), to bring His Son to the cross so that we might have the opportunity of eternal life. In this, God has not stepped away from fallen creation, but has stepped into it by becoming Jesus. God works within the fallen world to affect change and He uses fallen people to accomplish His will. In this, He is proving His sovereignty over evil, suffering, and rebellious people, proving that sin and evil are utterly futile, and that He is worthy of honor and glory.

A third possible reason that God is letting evil occur is so that on the day of judgment, the condemned will have no right to say that their sentence is unjust. God is not stopping people from exercising their free will. Think about this: If someone said that God should stop evil and suffering, then should God then stop all evil and suffering? If God only stopped some of it, then we would still be asking the same question of why it exists. So, if we want God to stop evil and suffering, then He must stop all of it. We have no problem with this when it means stopping a catastrophe, or a murder, or a rape. But what about when someone thinks of something evil? Evil is evil whether it is acted out or not. Hatred and bigotry in someone’s heart is wrong. If it is wrong, and if God is to stop all evil, then He must stop that person from thinking his own thoughts. To do that, God must remove his freedom of thought.

Fourth, it is quite possible that God uses the suffering to do good. In other words, He produces patience through tribulation (Rom. 5:3). Or He may desire to save someone through it. Take for example, the account of Joseph who was sold into slavery by His brothers. What they did was wrong and Joseph suffered greatly for it. But, later, God raised up Joseph in Egypt to make provisions for the people of that land during the coming drought of seven years. But not only was Egypt saved, but also so was his family and brothers who originally sold him into slavery. Joseph finally says to them, "You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good" (Gen. 50:15-21). Of course, the greatest example of God using evil for good is the death of Christ. Evil people brought him to the cross, but God used that cross as the means to save the world. But then we must ask, if this is true, are we working against God by working against evil and suffering? No, we are not. God says he does not want us to sin and suffer. But it is simply true that God can use evil despite of its apparent despicable nature. God is in the world using the world and its failures for His glory and the benefit of those who listen to Him. But then, what about those who seem to innocently suffer with no benefit resulting? What about the woman who is raped, or the innocent by stander who is killed by a stray bullet. In both cases, the victims and families suffer nothing but pain and loss. What good can this possibly be? I think that the answer is two-fold. One, ultimately, no one is innocent. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Rom. 3:23) and are by nature children of wrath (Eph. 2:3). There is none innocent. Though this is biblically accurate, it does not satisfy the question emotionally. Why do little babies suffer for things they have not done? I must acknowledge that I do not know. Ultimately, we must trust God who knows the beginning from the end and sees the grand picture. He will have the final word and He will be vindicated.

Conclusion
Suffering is the result of human sin. The world is not the way that God created it and because of that, all are vulnerable to the affects of sin in the world. Why does one person suffer and another does not? Why do catastrophes happen to some and no others? It is because sin is in the world. But there will come a day when the Lord will return and cleanse this world of all sin and all suffering.

"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away" (Rev. 21:4).

@ 2:34 AM

he has finally decided to stop lying.

@ 1:15 AM

16 hours to chinese o lvl. hahas. the world is wishing me lots of luck! hees.
to be in sch at 7.45am. im suppose to be studying chinese now, but im browsing through the net, looking through each and every shopping attraction in JAPAN! wth?! no mood for books, no motivation to even start lurh! singapore ferris wheel cost 30 bucks, but the one in tokyo cost only 10 bucks. see the different?! and i thought one capsule is for like 2 PERSON, but i got it wrong. its for 30 passengers. CHEY!.. not at all romantic. hees.

i accidentally spotted his profile. hey, his face grew so much mature, that i could barely actually regconized him.. well well, he is actually better looking la. anyway so many years has passed that my memories of him is just this little. it was another bittersweet love.

i guess in life, it really takes alot of fate to be together. boohooo...

Friday, May 25, 2007 @ 5:47 AM

yadaa...... i dont know why im still infront of this stupid computer la. im suppose to be studying real hard for my o lvl next mon. and damm la, i still left 70 chengyu to learn, 20 more bao zhang bao dao to read and so on and so fourth. ms moo reckon that only 12 from our class would get A1 and A2 for it and im definitely not gonna be one of them. Lord, hear my prayer! A1 for me OK!. anw, ms moo called me and nicole H-O-M-O. like wadthehell?! we were just playing! -_-" didn managed to trick wanxing into believing theres a secret admirer somewhere, im a louser! it was really funny though when i kept denying..

and this farking sec 2 guy, wads his name? [so insignificant] anw, told me to shut up when i scolded him for being rude to my fren. how rude can juniors get nowadays???. anw, after sch, i went pizza hut with wx, xl and rach. as usual, i ordered beef lasange set meal. rahh! it was delicious like duh!. and we chat for 3 hr plus.. eh, my eyes hurts now lorhh. im on contact lense for more than 12 hours alr. hell! it seems as if, the blood vessels in my eyes are going to burst!

boy, you ended the last day of my semester one with a good note, your smile.

@ 3:01 AM

school holidays here!
but there`s no holiday for the sec 4s
how sad. -_-
i wont be able to be happy for one mth cos school wont be the same.
the smile would be gone for a mth, thats sad. ^^

im waiting for tjc to upload their DSA application form which they have not done so.

and im excited to know that o lvl is gng to be here in another 5 mths or so.
me and my bunch of hoo-haa friends were going crazy almost everyday over the post O`LVL trip to a foreign country. its even killing my heart desire now! i cant even stop my mind from NOT thinking about it. its going to be so exciting. maybe we should extend the days dudes! that is, if our parents allow... eh, we haven even ask our parents about it la. i need money! anybody want sponsor me??!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007 @ 3:44 AM

my head is going topsy turvy!

@ 3:01 AM

its meet the parents session tomorrow. i wonder what is miss yeo gonna say about me.
eh....
"chiat yi is rather talkative in class, she has to stop talking to wanxing to improve her grades" and she will probably tell this to wanxing mum,
"wanxing is spending too much time talking to chiatyi in class, they must learn how to pay attention when the teachers are teaching!"
i can just imagine those words from miss yeo tomorrow. hohoho~

@ 2:54 AM

i dont ever think that telling him so much of the untruth works. you jolly well know im sad, very sad infact. but you are jus hurting me deeper. cos you know me of old, you pricked my heart even more. all those lies you are deceiving the world with. it wont work anm, im learning to let you go. after all, maybe we just aint meant to be. and of cos, i will wait for you no more, because i know you dont want me in your life anymore. from all the facade of lies you pile me with each day, its all clearly written.. you just want to me to get hurt deeper, if it`s a way of leaving me and to let me go then..
be gone, my lover, be gone, my friend.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007 @ 12:40 AM

whoo, i seriously need to learn how to control my uproaring emotion.

someone prayed for me and told me this "you know, you are just like a girl that is stuck in the middle of the road, and everyone is moving at such a ultra fast speed that you are just there stuck in the middle"
she told me that i should lean on God, not just looking for him but reaching for him. i tried. silently cried alot. but, im still stuck in here. it just seem that i aint able to move on. and this sucks! all that my friends can ever tell me is to move on and its easy, but no one exactly know how i feel. who would ever understand how i feel? i dont blame my friends that they dont understand because they are not me, but i thank God for giving me friends who are always being there for me when i needed someone the most. esp, wanxing, xinlin! and of cos the rest like yuki, etc..

maybe i should learn to let go. although sometimes its so hard, i guess its something for me to learn to grow up, to cherish and of cos to learn how to treasure others. i guess time will take care of the forgotten. and its your smile that im leaning on everyday to keep my life glowing.

@ 12:25 AM

FARK YOU!!!! whats the point of asking me out when you are with that low class-damm bitch?! thats of cos, it might just not be my problem cos of every other reason you have given me. but i can only come down to 3 conclusion why you are with her right now..
1. your friends dumped you! because you told me you have alot of fun with your friends, and having a girlfriend hinders your social life. uh-huh, and since you haven mention your friends lately, that must be the case

2.you really do love her! but i doubt so, bcos you dumped her on the very week (OK! though you guys never stead, but you ignored all her call) you enter the poly saying you have no time for her which is so crap!. and she had to beg you to re-acknowledge her!

3.you are playboy! which most apparently suits you the most. because your had never stick to one ever since we farking broke!

Monday, May 21, 2007 @ 6:02 AM

boy, you gotta know. i really miss you badly.

@ 5:07 AM

seriously, i dont think i have make the cut to get an entry to VJC, just checked their minimum criteria. and i dun fuifill one of it. sec 3 and sec 4 academic results. oh shoots. damm. which jc would want to take in a student who failed her both physics and chemistry, and of cos both her math?. -_-" hmm. unless they consider accepting me for my talent in dance which is ballet.. and if so, im so going to work towards an A1 for both my math and science. i promise i will do my personal best.. if any teachers or students of VJC come across my blog, (hopefully the principal), please consider me if im ever called up for the interview. pretty please. =) btw, my name is GOH CHIAT YI, otherwise known as CRYSTAL as well.
still, since DSA is foc, im still going to submit my application(no harm). im applying for TJC too, at least TJC looks at PRI.6 to SEC 4 results, and leadership etc etc.! please consider my sec.2 results, and do know i have that i have the potential to excel.. nevertheless, i am a dedicated dancer who commits herself into her CCA! and i will make a good leader..

well, thats so much of a publicizing myself. had my first ever chemistry tuition with my dudes. and i didn even felt like sleeping. that was like so rare, considering the fact that i find chemistry a bore. and hey, dumbo i think im starting to like chemistry. ask me now, and i can jolly well dictate the formula for all the mole concept to you. although our tutor, emily is only 19, wanxing`s sis sch mate, conincidently, i find her rather amusing and witty and of course she has a good teaching method. she even made a pt to take down notes, probably from her secondary sch days, so unlike me. tuition was great today and we had fun munching down all the chips. hees.

i do not know why you have to tell me all your misery, dude, it really wont bother me and you are really pissing me off.

Sunday, May 20, 2007 @ 5:09 AM

i feel so tired, sick and im totally exhausted, from all the pressure the world is giving me. can someone tell me what to do? -_-"
anw, i skipped ballet again for the dunno how many billion times, thanks to my dad. he insisted i do my chinese. but instead i slept for 4 hrs in the afternn. well done!! a pat on my shoulder. ha!

eh and im starting to panick for o lvls now..
chinese o lvl is in a week time! hell. im so not prepared!
but then again, i do not even have the motivation to start studying..
slap me awake! fark, i miss him. thats so random..

anw, singapore food expo and singapore great singapore sales are coming on.
those are the only 2 things im looking forward too.
and im turning SIXTEEN in a week or so! great!
more freedom, more say! cant wait to turn TWENTY ONE!
hmm, im starting to like orange...

ytd lit seminar was pretty useless i thought. yoyo went through most of the themes before. i thought maybe miss yeo would make a better speaker for the talk yesterday. all i lernt was about social performance. hey, aint we all at a masked dance, since we are all deceivers.

pepper lunch was fantastic ytd, had salmon pepper rice with ice lemon tee. hees. i loved the part where i jus kept adding the honey sauce and of cos frying the rice. cool! geex, i finally saw wanxing in some brighter colour clothes. keep it up dude!. and xinlin was buying shoes again cos her feet hurts.

@ 3:48 AM

it hurts me to see you going that way again.
maybe its just me who haven give up on you.
i would love to forget.
but things in my head are just getting out of hand.
when i saw those pictures of you with her.
my life was going huuu-haaa again.
i know you guys went out in a group,
but that photo with her?
im left dry and thinking.
are you guys still together again?
or are you guys just going out as friends.
i have no rights to ask,
all i can do is silently waiting for time to get you off my head.
whats the point of asking you who is she,
when you wont ever tell me.

Friday, May 18, 2007 @ 4:54 AM

i just cant get over it.. never gonna get over it. eh, but i cant possibly brood over it for my whole life as well.. wad just am i going to do??!!!

@ 4:09 AM

if i can change a portion of my life.. what would it be? it left me thinking hard, and i realised the only thing i would change was never starting talking to bonjour.. it was sweet, still there was scars of hurt that left behind. i should have more on further, but im still hinder here, unknowing what lies ahead of me. its still hard to accept the fact, dun ask me why, bcos you meant the world to me. if only you knew..


yeah, maybe math and science and i wont need that useless A math. why doesn anyone never ever told me that you dun need both math and science to get in a JC! why doesn anyone told me that i don take math as a subject in JC!. good grief, to think that i only found out today from mr.ong. fark. shld have studied geo la, since im not even doing well in add math. can somebody tell me why i tok add math.

NO.1 misconception in students!
-HUMANITIES CLASS IS LOUSY! just to reinforce this, a humanities subject is a must to get into a JC!

No. 2 misconception in students!
- add math will bring you further in jc! NAH! add math wil only bring you further if u want to take A LVL MATH! you dun have to take math if you don not like it.

NO.3 misconception in students!
- both math and science must be counted in your L1R5. thats no true at all! CHOOSE MATH OR SCIENCE!!


my tutor thinks im capable of dn math. i failed. for the 101 time la.. -_-" to the extent when failing seem so numb alr. hah! thanks a math for pulling my whole damm grades down right to the bottom AGAIN!. and tutor, i reali dun think im able to do math la.. you def had not done worst than me in your sec days.


kill me somebody?!, im sick and tired of living in this society, i wish i was never born.


i dun wan to be manipulated, someboday teach me how to live on..

Monday, May 07, 2007 @ 3:50 AM

do you know that i still love you?. she got me on the jackpot.
hey, i still love you. cant get over it.

@ 3:24 AM

just spent an hour watching "rape of naking"
pretty disguisted by the video.
girls as young as 7 and women as old as 70 were raped.
repeatedly, and then stabbed alive.
the sight irked your inner soul.


add math was okay today. sorta know how to do la.
hmm. better than paper one.
thanks LORD!.
HIST was pretty easy, i guess.
i could finish my SOURCE BASED. but i thought my ans were pretty crappy


cant wait. 4 days to the end of mid year.
3 days to phantom of the opera.
yipeess. im feeling happy!


tmr`s lit paper. and i haven finish reading the text.
damm. CID AND UNSEEN!.
hopefully i can think! and analyse.

Sunday, May 06, 2007 @ 1:16 AM

the rising sun was teasing me. i had tuition at 8 am in the morning for add math. finally know how to solve trigonometry equation. hah! i cant wait to go for phantom on friday! i will be wearing a dress. its a summer dress. its pretty, white with small print of flower, its bare at the back.. haha. anw, i love my mummy! wouldn have found a dress without her. i think i would matched it with my white heels.


my mum went kinda out of her mind
"you don have any bag to carry with your outfit right." said mum
"ya, i only have my school bags and my levi`s sling" i replied
"why don you bring my LOUIS VUITTON BAG" mum exclaimed.
"are YOU MAD??!" i screamed!
"i am ONLY 16!, mum."


then my dad upon hearing it, laughed and told my mum she was mad. and so my mum walked out of my room! my mad mum!


i think im like so so so dumb can! theres nothing wrong with my eyes, nothing wrong with my contacts. the problem lies with me! I WORE IT THE WRONG EYE! im plain dumb! rahh!

Thursday, May 03, 2007 @ 4:07 AM

i just went to take part in the Acuvue wish list thing.
and i wish for daily contact lenses.
hah! i hope they would pick me!

@ 3:58 AM

had english comprehension(paper 2), chinese paper 2 and GEOGRAPHY TOO! damm. i did 3 human geo questions. i just crapped my way through. i didn even know if the facts are true and i just wrote it down. i give up.. hah! manage to call toa payoh optical 88 ytd evening and i will get to change my contact lenses if i go down and return my contacts and get a new eye check!


im happy! beef lasagne tomorrow. yay! im a PIZZA-HUT addict!


chinese today was more of using you own thinking and english was ok i guess. its either you know it or you dont. hmm. tmr would be e math and physics. its 7pm already and i have not started anything.. im a failure. damm. im gng to fail tmr. oh well, why am i not suprised?!


monday-chemistry tuition 5.30 t0 7.30pm
saturday- physics tuition 10am to 12pm
wednesday- add math tuition 6.00pm to 8.00pm


I AM GOING TO BE HELL BUSY!
A1 here i come! whhooots.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007 @ 11:55 PM

i just want to give up on my additional math! i worked for it, yet i still don know how to additional math! AHH! MAYBE I SHOULDN EXPECT RESULTS TO HAPPEN SO FAST! 4 months to O LEVEL! damm. actuali is 6 months but to MOTIVATE myself, its 4 months. and im not doing well. social studies, was OKAY! i thought it was quite easy?! hmm. i donno. PHYSIC exam is ON FRIDAY! and i haven started studying! chap 7-17! hell!.. i want die already la!!! im so lost in thoughts, so many things, so little time.. damn`it,~ pizza hut on friday?! anyone?!


i want my contacts back. i look geek in specs! damm!


why do i just feel so uncomfortable talking to you?!
rahh.. i saw him walking in the rain!
and i was happy.
but he was sulking..
why?! why do i care?!


ahaha, i asked my bro {how volcanoes were formed?} ytd night and it came out for his exam today! i can spot question!!!! hopefully, good governance come out for O LEVELS TOO!. hey! i wish i can spot questions for add math too!

@ 4:07 AM

FCUK!!
i called optical 88 like so many outlets and none answered my phone calls, and almost half had the number changed! hell! i need my contact lenses! wad the hell is wrong with that shop??! are they like closing down on something?!